Innocent asana

Postures (asana) are innocent,  its about your belief and attitude towards them?

My yoga teacher said that statement in class yesterday
and.......
it hit me RIGHT on my third eye!

I mean, sure its not like I don't know that..... i mean those who know me will agree that I'm kinda deep ;)  but man have I been in self judgment critical stupor with my face again the wall in my practise of late. 

The metaphor for this statement lies in my seemingly trusty old yoga mat. 

Its demanding, wont let me get a new one, its attached to me and it doesn't give me the support I really need under my feet anymore, its  falling apart! (ok that's really me)  :/


Time for a new thought form? time to let go? time to detach and observe? time to support my own individual I AM needs as part of the whole? time to pull it all together? uuugghhhh....

I'm not going to lie, yoga is my NEMESIS. 

it antagonises me, sometimes injures me, can be my undoing, challenges me, has been my downfall and failure, is part of my destiny.  lets just say it.....That goddess Nemesis was a real bitch!

OK, so when I'm in homeostasis, breath, observation, non judgement in no-time space, being soft, it feeds me, nourishes me, grounds me, balances me, is my joy and my inner personal success, lets just say it....... thank you Goddess Nemesis for holding the contrast! 

SO then..... what to do what that old outdated critical judgement (along with my worn out yoga mat) ?

Damn..... 

I'm going to make myself a pair of these beauties from my OLD OUTDATED YOGA MAT....and if you know me, you'll know I just L.O.V.E a pair of thongs, I love to free my feet, because these feet were made for walking! :D

 And as for me? well.....time to repurpose and reinvent myself from a very new vantage point :) 

Namasté Namaskar 

I AM full of light

What does it mean to be full of light.

I know I came in this way. 

which also means I have a contrast of darkness that sometime persuades me to believe otherwise, but thats ok. 

I understand this as it surges forth willingly and unwillingly from my cells that are indeed a hologram of the greater universe, that which is me.

this isn't new age hippy bullshit, this is physics, this is mathematical, this is spiritual, this is all there is.

I remember the light, its safety, the feeling of not being separate, I guess some might call that oneness, god, elohim, source, whatever works for you. As I BE here in polarity, I know this as my I AM, it is I, eternal. 

I AM indeed calling back parts of myself that are ready to hold more soul mass in this moment of now, some might call this a prayer, I call it intent. and so it is. 

Love From me

Renée X

Tooth of the mind?

A week ago I had my last wisdom tooth removed, and since have been in a haze of pain, self pity, distrust and self judgement, hummm not really the mind set of a practicing yogi is it?

Last night I watched one of my favourite movies ‘The Big Blue’ and there was a line in it that rang very true IN me ‘
…But it is the body that remembers, it’s a whole process, an immersion…’
now, I know that! I’m sure I’ve even said something similar many times before when teaching and in meditation, but last night it was like I had heard it for the first time.

Physically in human form we are reminded of the storehouse of memory our body holds, and I can choose to except, let go of the control and any expectations I place on myself, I can stop resisting the physical pain and surrender to the releasing of what memories that last wisdom tooth held for me? Yeah I get this - Our teeth, our crystals of our body, the structure that connects us in to our collective DNA, our link to our past and our future, our Ancestral decent.

So intellectually I can easily agree to these ‘feelings’ I can breath deeply, surrender, but what’s the story here? Maybe I have bought into the collective story that I had to have a ‘bad wisdom tooth extraction experience’ with all the trimmings, dry socket and all, maybe my ‘Identity’ needed a check, maybe my 'Ego' needed a bashing, and maybe I just didn’t want to release the dense energies stuck in with the last remaining wisdom tooth to allow me to move into a higher resonance with my full potential!
But to be completely honest, I do want to, if I’m to be authentic and free, I choose to evolve, and thus let go of the story.

So back to the story, did I bring to memory the story?

Yes, and I did it in a way that I needed to go back to my motherland of New Zealand and reconnect with some very special and unique beings that I spent all those teenage informative years with at high school.
At our 20 year school reunion, we all came together as a collective, to laugh and to dance, to make a promise to be authentic and free to feel the depth of our culture and let that move us to tears.
I was reminded of my experience at 18 of getting my first wisdom teeth out that was very traumatic under general anaesthetic, and what that meant to me in retrospect as an intrusion into my sacred space of trust, the same year I also meet my biological father for the first time…. Again a reminder of my truth and trust IN my personal power and freedom, the same year my heart was broken for the first time, and as the Koran's say the name for Wisdom teeth is ‘ love Teeth' referring the the young age and the pain of young love, a very real learning in self love and acceptance. The same year I left home for another city, and in Japanese, Wisdom teeth literally mean "unknown to the parents," from the idea that they erupt after a child has moved away.

I listen with love to my ‘self’ as I re -call and release and choose to move through this spiral of memories that my body held in that the last tooth of wisdom gained….