The Cook -

A poetic retrospective of my Ormond Road house country Kitchen

The cook’s companion,
Who is that?
Do they sit around and give orders, while the porcelain birds on the shelve sing;
Do they finger through the bible-like pages, chubby fingers, oiled and sticky with time,
Are they invisible to the eye, but not to the sensation of imagination,
Are they free?
Can they transcend the recipe, mix it up, and let the music inspire them -

‘What did you say? Sorry I didn’t hear that’
The angel in the painting never moves, the angel tells me -
‘Communion will save your soul’
I don’t believe her; she doesn’t have chubby fingers -
Although she is oily from years of leaning against the wall, above the gas stove top,
That gives her some credit, because she is loyal, and persistent,
I think I like that about her;

They shouldn’t tell me what to do; it won’t serve that measurement,
In that glass, see-through it, can you?

The black cats dance on the mobile, there are four of them, that’s a unit,
Lucky for some, but I want to ask them if it gets tiresome, staying in that same place.

I might get some chopsticks out of the red vase, and put them in my hair, layer it on top of my head, draw it up and around, use the chopsticks to keep it all in place, crisscrossed, over each other, what a treat;
The angel won’t even notice they are missing.

What a delight to have a companion in my kitchen, to share, raise my spirit, come my black women dance with the black cats, sing with the porcelain birds on the shelve;

They look like they are kissing.

Liquid Feminine

Incarnation: personification of….. Who the hell am I?

If I'm so connected to spirit like a child and I’m fearful and scared of loosing that if I enter this body in its totally - is that why I control so intensely my experience of my physical vehicle? Trying to understand its workings, teetering on the edge of extreme, pushing the bounties, denying myself its pleasures?
What is this death throw? Is it actually "she" trying to be born. How the hell did I manage to get stuck in the ‘birth canal’ for 38 years?

What “are” the needs of this divine whole child? To be held, to be safe, to be loved unconditionally, “she” the grown up, holds her, embraces her in her arms and tells her she is all that and more, she is perfect, she is a personification of Christ.

The warrior, masculine in nature delivers strength from her core, she want’s to merge the liquid feminine from her deepest knowing and allow the two to find solace, let the physical speak in sensation, let the emotion speak in feeling, let the mind speak in form of pictures, sound and colour, stories and memory, let the spirit speak in its fluidity of all there is, was and can be.


Stories, manifestations linked into the world - juxtaposing the polarity of merging the two worlds my inner and outer – heart paradoxical life comfortably balanced with both extreme love of humanity and the loss of oneself, so anxious so fearful, mapping into my physical, my energetics, what I thought I was? what I was as a child - let this new human be born!
Merging nature in all beauty and integrity and concrete reality our 3D world - inner and outer balance, we are shifting as she is on all levels.

Inner spiritual - outer physical. where is the Resistance?

Releasing the pattens of this cycle that the father was holding his whole life. Power - hold the power of the mother.

Open the sacred heart space inside the heart, in its fluidity, its grace, its secret's.....

What is that What has....

But was I pushing my release button?

I sure as hell was breathing out, BIG big breath out, solar breath, the masculine breath, the expansive breath, the breath of change!

My feeling is that at this moment, as we have passed through the Solar Eclipse and the New Moon on Friday Jan 15th we have walked between worlds into the new decade 10, entering the world stage and our Authentic selves, a time to stand up, be noticed, speak our truth, unleash our vast potential -Amen!
BUT I cant help wonder how I know what I know, yet feel so unengaged, kinda flat lined, numb.....
Here's the thing - something to 'release' as we walk between the 'old' and the' new' is that of the egoic mind, wanting to control and intellectualise all that we feel (or in my case don't feel) all that we think, all we do, all that is and what has...been.... hummmm is that over analysing? remember what I'm doing here is filtering the collective thoughts through my human 'mind', my experience, you know the one I'm telling you and myself to release!
how often do we come back to acceptance? and is it coming back? it just is.... so therefore I release perfectionism and self judgement...... in this moment 'what is' is what is and 'what was' was, what was!

I believe there is a collective decision in our crystalline frameworks beyond us and within us to move away from this need to always understand, to release the 'mind' to move on from spending time coming back to acceptance, coming back? spending time? - it just is! in order to get onto that world stage, shout out and be heard, I AM, what we are saying is you are perfect outside and inside of polarity and divine and so so light.
what I am not - is ALL my human experience, that is part of me but not all of me -I release fear - I release need (*exhale* that felt good) I release the need to be switched on all the time, I AM perfect, you are prefect.
.......... I'm starting to get feeling back......not trying to keep time....... ;)

I want to get deeply personal, and I will now I'm feeling some 'feelings' back ;)
The energies of the Solar eclipse has bought up (in my matrix) some really interesting patterns, imprints, memories, stories, whatever you want to call it, around, men, male energy, and my own masculine energy, my emperor energy as I like to 'label' it.
How this plays out is something again my mind, egoic as it is tries to Analyse and as I stand here as a spectator to my own play, I guess all I can do is watch! because what has...(been) is just what 'is'..... I am the 'Observer'
I believe (this is a belief, which can change and is changing because - it just is!) that I'm a big fish in a small pond, I play small, I'm being honest here, I do what I do and sometimes I find it satisfying, but a lot of the time ( here we go, with that word 'time') I'm not, hence maybe the flat-line, numbness... now how does this relate to my emperor? my emperor pushing to be out there on that world stage.... I mentioned before I am not all my human experience, but in the 'shared reality' matrix that has in some way mapped my emotional states, what have I looked for in men?...... safety, respect, commitment, love, trust, dedication, a knowing, whats the opposite of abandonment? (oh that's a biggie!) a deep desire to worship the goddess! I know its commitment, but I really like the sound of that!
So in saying all that, what has the imprint of my male experiences learned me about my soul masculine self? what have I searched for outside of myself? inside of myself?
that I AM whole, I AM safe, I respect my place in this experience, I AM committed to my path, I love my 'self', I AM dedicated to my purpose, I will never abandon my truth, I stand in my power, I trust my chosen journey, and.... I AM a goddess! I AM ME!
Do I know this all of the time? hell no! but - when I take a deep breath, exhale that solar expansive breath, be present, make space inside, does it feel right? hell yes! and the difference is; not buying into letting my mind's demand to know why! its not coming back to acceptance - it just is acceptance..... as we revisit all of who we are... male, female.... light and dark and beyond into the divine spark, that being of complete love...... let spirit discern the pathways of your mind self, surrender to movement, allow change, create and most of all FLOW.....


So I'll see you in the green room soul family, lets do this together, as one, the stage is prepped, your lines are learned, and the curtains await to be drawn.......

Om Tat Sat ओम् तत् सत्, ‘All that is the Truth’

Tooth of the mind?

A week ago I had my last wisdom tooth removed, and since have been in a haze of pain, self pity, distrust and self judgement, hummm not really the mind set of a practicing yogi is it?

Last night I watched one of my favourite movies ‘The Big Blue’ and there was a line in it that rang very true IN me ‘
…But it is the body that remembers, it’s a whole process, an immersion…’
now, I know that! I’m sure I’ve even said something similar many times before when teaching and in meditation, but last night it was like I had heard it for the first time.

Physically in human form we are reminded of the storehouse of memory our body holds, and I can choose to except, let go of the control and any expectations I place on myself, I can stop resisting the physical pain and surrender to the releasing of what memories that last wisdom tooth held for me? Yeah I get this - Our teeth, our crystals of our body, the structure that connects us in to our collective DNA, our link to our past and our future, our Ancestral decent.

So intellectually I can easily agree to these ‘feelings’ I can breath deeply, surrender, but what’s the story here? Maybe I have bought into the collective story that I had to have a ‘bad wisdom tooth extraction experience’ with all the trimmings, dry socket and all, maybe my ‘Identity’ needed a check, maybe my 'Ego' needed a bashing, and maybe I just didn’t want to release the dense energies stuck in with the last remaining wisdom tooth to allow me to move into a higher resonance with my full potential!
But to be completely honest, I do want to, if I’m to be authentic and free, I choose to evolve, and thus let go of the story.

So back to the story, did I bring to memory the story?

Yes, and I did it in a way that I needed to go back to my motherland of New Zealand and reconnect with some very special and unique beings that I spent all those teenage informative years with at high school.
At our 20 year school reunion, we all came together as a collective, to laugh and to dance, to make a promise to be authentic and free to feel the depth of our culture and let that move us to tears.
I was reminded of my experience at 18 of getting my first wisdom teeth out that was very traumatic under general anaesthetic, and what that meant to me in retrospect as an intrusion into my sacred space of trust, the same year I also meet my biological father for the first time…. Again a reminder of my truth and trust IN my personal power and freedom, the same year my heart was broken for the first time, and as the Koran's say the name for Wisdom teeth is ‘ love Teeth' referring the the young age and the pain of young love, a very real learning in self love and acceptance. The same year I left home for another city, and in Japanese, Wisdom teeth literally mean "unknown to the parents," from the idea that they erupt after a child has moved away.

I listen with love to my ‘self’ as I re -call and release and choose to move through this spiral of memories that my body held in that the last tooth of wisdom gained….

touching the void

What a mix up of crazy multi-coloured expressions and experiences this week has been - riding the wave home!
What a MAJOR energy of separation, a deep sense of releasing lifetimes of grief and loneliness.
Cutting the karmic ties makes one feel slightly giddy & detached then nostalgia slips in and gets you lamenting (note: a good indication of this is playing CD’s you haven’t listened to in years! Believe me!)
Its like the void is there because its part of you, you have just got to remember it, the letting go, moving on, its all perfect - it all part of ascension (oh and for the record the ‘part’ is making its way into the ‘whole’) the void is everything and at the same time nothing, its emptiness and fullness, its fear and its love.
We are being asked right here to step into this NEW version of our self(s) our DIVINITY, our Christ consciousness! We are being guided my beauties to move into love, love, love I LOVE U!

Listen to what your body has to tell you, take a minute and listen – mine is saying rest more, unfold, be with like-minds, share, breath, make crazy shapes and most of all allow!
As you become lighter love light, your body drops old patterns, recalibrates and is like - WAIT UP! This can manifest as aches, pains, sacrum issues, cramping at night in the legs, weird heavy feeling in the chest & body, sore throats, dizziness, extreme tiredness, headaches, tight necks (especially around the base of the skull- occipital ) feelings of detachment, no very engaged, wanting to give up, bored, anxious like your waiting for something to happen, but your not sure what!

Forgive it all! It’s a brave new world!

In the words of one of my old classic CD’s that I pulled out in my moment of nostalgia ‘Morcheeba’
‘ The music that we make will heal our mistakes and lead us, the music that we make is always standing there to feed us’

Free Floating

So it would seem the message's I've been getting from my own inner guidance and that of many amazing posts I read that I find and that find me, that we are in for a bit of a ride this week, so I thought I would give you a heads up. The way I see it is, that we are hitting a week of some minor (or major, depends how you look at it!) turbulence.

In saying that, BRING IT ON!

It’s ALL about clearing out the old patterns, the old 'dead wood' (perfect for spring) not just saying it but doing (or BEING) it! Be aware of the clues, or cues that are available to you, mull over them. Stay in touch with the varying and mixed emotions that you may experience from your 'self' (s) and those around you this week, find the places in your body(ies) where you feel it, absorb it, see where you go with it, maybe where you even went with it, (maybe it slipped from your fingers) don't get into the story, just notice it, release it, observation baby!

Some of you might find a little rocking and rolling as your turbulence hits a few big air pockets, you might find tucked away a few conflicting states of being (or doing) pulling you in many directions. Again notice it, have a look, and forward we go!

Lets use this energy this week to re-make our emotional body, the day (or week!) is here! It’s time my friends to clean out the closet of this emotional and physical body that you have, right here, right now!

If we hold onto our dark turmoil’s and empty promises it’s difficult to FULLY embrace the light!

The word for me this week is 'OUTDATED' re-set your energetic set point! you are your own divine creator! and I love you for it!

Rest if you need to rest, let yourself heal, don’t pick the scab of the wound!

This week find a ritual that you know and love that helps to press the 'release' button and open the Parachute! (Did I tell you that we where going to jump from the plane?!)

Find the free-floating freedom in your ‘self’? How good does that feel?!

A great quote I read is ‘ Adjust that dream of yours to fit the reality before you’ - because its just an illusion anyway!

Peace out - love and light!

A short Buddhist outlook on life

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

I also know that dreams really do come true and you have my Best Wishes and my best efforts in those.